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All the science I’ve reviewed in the past few years have confirmed two things:
1) Your ability to be in a passionate, fulfilling long-term relationship is one of the best indicators of a happy and healthy life, free of disease and premature aging.
Having a great long-term girlfriend or wife is an even greater health benefit than not smoking or not being obese!
2) Divorce rates and breakups are higher than ever.
This is a problem, and don’t even pretend you’re above it all, because it can happen to any one of us.
If you’re in a relationship now, it can go bad at any time, and if you’re single, you need to be doing the pre-work NOW so when you get into a relationship, you’ll make sure it thrives.
Let me quickly dispel the myth of that once you get in a relationship, you’ll “figure it out.” This is like planning a hike into the mountains and saying you’ll figure out how to navigate once you get there.
Most people who do things that way do not have it go very well.
And if you’re already “in the mountains” of a relationship, you need what I’m giving you here more than ever.
I’ve codified some of the most important tools you can use to make any woman you’re dating feel extremely connected to you and fully trusting that you’re a “real man” she can totally depend on.
It comes down to having a rock-solid masculine core, and being fully present to her... whatever she throws at you... and to your surroundings... all at once.
I’m going to take you step-by-step how to be fully present with any woman in this video.
I’m going to be answering as many of your questions and comments as I can, so please share your thoughts as you watch this video.
Looking forward to talking with you,
Dr. David Tian
P.S. – Beyond presence, there’s something extremely powerful called “polarization” which results in incredible passion... and is what truly makes “girlfriend sex” some of the hottest times you can ever imagine. (When people say having sex with their girlfriend or wife is better than any one-night-stand, this is what they’re talking about.)
I think you are providing a great service David! I watched the first video and I cannot wait to learn more from you. The video series is so informative!
This is awesome! Your video series’ are great. There is something special about the way you get a message across!
I have always been in a long term relationship. I was never one to seek out a one-night stand and I feel like my love life has never failed me due to that. It takes work and willpower, but in the end, the results are great!
I have been with my g/f for 7 years now and I feel like practicing this way would really bring us even close together. Its worth a try right?
I am guessing this would be a great start! Good luck.
There is something to be said about how the mind works and when it is in love, especially. My wife of 15 years do some of the things that you mention and could never be happier.
I have always been a hopeless romantic. IS that something that will help me be more passionate in my love life?
Woman need to be close to a man. Get them to feel that way and you are in for the long haul.
When it comes to being passionate, I have been told that I am good at it. Is that a good quality to have before you get into something like what you are talking about? A long term relationship is my goal, of course, I really just do not want to screw it up!
You are right that divorce can happen to anyone. I watched some really “happy” couples break things off and was like WTF?
it would help if most men acted like they were older than 15. I see some real douches messing up the best thing that could ever happen to them!
David, once again you nail all of the right things in your video. I cannot thank you enough for opening my eyes to things that every man needs to know!
“Figuring it out” does not work. I have tried that and even when the wife and I thought things were over, we just figured it would come around, but it took a lot of work from BOTH of us to get things right.
I agree. Navigating your relationship in order to make it a great one takes time and energy! From both of you, right?
This video is a home run. I feel terrible as a man when I look back at how I treated woman when I was younger. I thought I had it all figured out. What was I thinking?
I wasn’t expecting you to say that having a wife is such a huge health benefit! What are you basing this claim on? Just curious.
Watch the video and you’ll find out. He talks about this after minute 8.
Hey Kyle, I didn’t say just having a wife does it. If you’re in a bad relationship, that can be worse on your health than being divorced. What I said and what the research says is that having a LOVING, committed relationship correlates closely to physical health and longevity. And there are a LOT of studies showing this. Here’s a good introduction to the research: https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness
Dude, you are here aren’t you? Watch the video and learn a thing or two like the rest of us did. You will not be sorry :0
Great video, Dr. Tian!
I like to feel that I am right here for the any woman that is willing to share time with me. Maybe I need to step back and be sure about that. I have been single for about 3 years now and maybe there is just something that I am missing?
Is there a way to let my husband know he needs to watch these videos (without upsetting him)?
Thank you David. Another great video for the series. You are helping people all over the world and I think that is a great thing!
I’ve started prepping for the ONE even if I’m only 22. I want to make sure I make her happy when I meet her.
Awesome! I know you will do great and if you listen to the advice here, it will really help. It did for me!
Yeah, exactly. You wouldn’t go on a trip in the mountains without any provisions and a plan of survival in case things happen. So why do we think this isn’t the case with relationships?
I think your information is right on, my problem is I can’t get to my wife No more,I believe someone already got her, but with time she will be back,if it should arise. If not my next relationship I’ll know how to handle her netter,thank you for your advice.
I’ve been attracting the wrong kind of woman for years now. It took me a long time to get it and now I’m always using my own, real qualities instead of faking ones I expect women to respond to.
David, what would you advice I do if I’ve been with a girl for 2 years and she’s expecting me to ask her to marry me but I’m still not certain about it? Should I tell her how I feel? Wouldn’t that hurt her in some way?
If you’re unable to communicate your truth with your woman… well, then, that’s a big problem right there. Watch this video series closely.
I need more confidence in my ability to keep her interested in me.
I feel the same way :(.
Don’t F with me and I won’t F with you is such a bad idea. I wouldn’t do this in business not to mention in a relationship.
I totally agree that you can’t go into a relationship and say “I’ll just figure it out”. You won’t. And if you aren’t prepared you’ll soon end up in a breakup or a divorce.
What do I do if I’m on the top of the mountain with no way down?
I can’t wait for the next video!
You said you could fix any relationship problems but that’s very hard to believe, especially in my case.
We were so in love when we married but something happened and in time, we drifted apart. I wish I could make things be like it was when we met.
Living an amazing life sounds like an impossible story for me and her right now. In the last 5 years, we must have had hundreds of small fights that are just getting us nowhere.
I can’t believe being a smoker is actually not as worse as being in a bad relationship!!! This was a wow moment for me.
School systems suck all over the world; well maybe not in the Nordic countries where I’ve seen some amazing things (look it up online). If they would teach children more about emotions and how to manage their feelings…
So cool of you to share more about your own past experiences. It makes me think there’s hope for me after all. I’m a player as well, or I was. I want to change my ways because it’s getting boring and I feel I want more now.
I put out a front for many years and I noticed that when I would get in to relationships, it was with woman who I didn’t want to be with long term. I didn’t know how to just be myself. The first video was great but this one really opened my eyes. Wonderful advice.
Are you married? I ask because I would love to know what your woman is like based on all your knowledge. You seem like you would some how have the perfect relationship. I am in a position where I was with the same woman for 8 years. We broke up because we just didn’t like each other. It was mutual and we parted ways. Thankfully we didn’t get married but still, it sucks. Looking for all the help I can get!
I was engaged to the same woman for 3 years. We are no longer together. I gave her a ring to shut her up but I didn’t want to get married. At the time I thought at all but the truth was, I didn’t meet a woman worth marrying. I felt like each relationship I had been in was good but it wasn’t something I could see down the road as being a part of me. Like you said.. I had one foot in. I was not present. I think the right woman, the right relationship… If it comes along, I would get married.
I agree that a solid relationship with a woman or man (depending on what you go for!) keeps you healthy and young. The opposite can be said with bad ones or none at all. I have seen people in their 70’s, 80’s, and even 90’s who were in great relationships and they were some of the healthiest people I had ever met. It was amazing. I like that you pointed that out. Fantastic point more men and women need to hear. We are meant to be in relationships as humans.
My girlfriend is very emotional and I am not sure how to handle it. I feel like a lot of it is down to me just not being in the moment with her. I am not sure how to change that but this video has helped. I like what you said about emotional problem solving with a woman makes more sense than logic. That alone really says a lot and helps make more sense of the old saying “Women don’t even know what they want!”.
I remember your talk on being in the moment and loved it. I really want to settle down with the right lady so I came to you for your advice. You have taught me a lot of things already. I am forever thankful. I am not dating anyone yet but I feel like I am getting there. You know your stuff my friend. I will be sharing these videos on Facebook.
I am a married man and I feel like my marriage is just non-existent. We hardly ever touch. Our conversations consist of what happened at work and what ever was on TV, something about dinner or eating here and there. That is it. I feel lost. I love my wife and I want things to be better than this. I miss being able to have physical touch with her and being able to just laugh. I am going to finish the video, I am hoping it helps me out here.
Brilliant! I am blown away by what you shared in this video. I feel like I was watching myself. I was with a beautiful woman but she was toxic! She cared about her looks and apparently so did I. She gained some weight and I actually threatened to leave her over it. That is when it got real bad. In the back of my mind I didn’t plan on leaving her but I was in that relationship to impress other people. It was far from healthy. She lost the weight and cheated on me… Several times. That was my wake up call. So here I am. And I am already learning so much.
Logic in relationships or love makes no sense and I am glad someone is finally saying it. It is about emotion and the spiritual connection. I am in a long distance relationship. Something I said I would NEVER do. You know why it works for me and us? We are in the moment when we are together. We trust each other. Instead of freaking out or shutting down when she is upset… I address it head on and ask her why she feels the way she does. Eventually it comes out and our relationship is strong because of it. Man up men! Women aren’t that complicated and when you are with the right one, you know.
I watched this as a woman and I loved what you said. I completely agree with you on being present. When I am with a guy who I feel is worried more about everyone else and what they think then what I do, it is a red flag and I back away. I will be waiting for the next video. I am signed up. I may not be a man but I am actually learning about relationships through what you are teaching men.
Hey Jess, thanks for sharing your perspective!
Yes, Polarity and Presence means everything for a relationship. But I don’t know how to handle it when we have long-distance relationship, so I always back to my old bad habit, do & pay with hot chicks when I feel stressful (because I don’t know my or her commitment). Then I feel disconnect and break up with my girlfriend. I always have this kind of situation over and over, maybe I need to know what is Commitment means for both of us…
Hey David. I’ve been following you since The Desire System.I’d like to ask, in this series you put emphasis on the men’s response toward women’s feeling. How can we gauge the situation where we’ve been present but the women’s behavior is still emotional and start to be toxic? Furthermore, can being present change the women’s toxic behavior to be better? Many thanks
Great question. If you haven’t gotten my free course on “Relationship Red Flags” yet, then go get that first. I deal with your first question in that complimentary course: https://www.auratransformation.org/dating-social-primer/
Assuming the woman is not a psychopath, sociopath, or a severe cluster B personality disordered individual, then yes, Presence most certainly will open the pathway to deeper connection and a stronger relationship.
It’s plain to see over my 10 year relationship I became the opposite of “present” and lazy about the connection. I’ve been actively listening and attempting Presence when we’re together for about a month. I’m just hoping I can turn us around within the next 6 weeks, beyond that I feel we may just be too far gone, due to some extenuating circumstances.
First video was incredible. I was waiting for this one!
Natural authentic self is extremley important to a healthy long term relationship.
It seriously is a quick sand scenario, it doesn’t happen instantly. Great video
Looking forward to more of Rock Solid plan. Very excited.
lol, people aren’t getting married anymore because of 60% fail rate, thats so true.
Diagnosing the problem is one of the most important components on a relationship.
These series are incredible <3. Looking forward to the next one!!!
Controll and confidence is one of the keys to a sucessful relationship. Looking forward to more videos.
Drama is going to happen no matter what. The key to solving it is the confidence. I agree
When will the full program be available? Looking to sign up.
Sounds to me that practicing presence with a woman would add to the amount that she trusts you.
Thanks for this great video. I have a question. So, there’s this woman I really like, we went on one date, she said she didn’t see a “long term” relationship with me, could I possibly fix that? What exactly does that even mean? Thanks for the great videos.
Mr David hi you are someone who I would love to have as a good friend .you sir are as crazy as I m lol, I love watching and following you on the web. More than anyone else just saying at 61 young spirit that it is hard to find a good loyal woman my opinion loyalty honesty and trustworthynes is important in a relationship why don’t a lot of women want a relationship just have fun when they want it and go home , i m old school lost two wives to cancerwas happy but not losing my. Better half I find it tough to find someone now at 61 then ever before you are a good spirit Regards jimmyc
Hi mr David jimmyc here you are a good spirit,I m from nepa Pocono mtns USA ok brother my story is above later
I’ve done the presence approaching..it seems the only want you in there world always. I’ve given and giving..and it’s appreciated but ..it just a word of spoken from her..or them..but no response to or repercussions..so I’m staying in with you and your team..and ideas ..but empty handed sucks..just having faith in God will ..and I appreciate your help and support..it is cool.. Thanks
I would like to thank you for all the insperational and educational material Dr. Tian. To answer the question for me is simple; I would be in a fulfilling relationship with someone of quality. I am currently single, although I was in a relationship which I thought was serious several months ago. Not to bash her, or myself but neither of us was coming from a place of mature emotion when we got involved, and to make a long and rather painful story short the relationship ended.
If I had practiced presence I`m not sure I would have been in the relationship to begin with. In spite of that thought I have to say that I would have been much better equipped to meet her needs and the needs of the relationship in a positive way. I had the presence to attract her but wasn`t planted. As such I lost focus on her and the relationship and most importantly myself, and my greatest fear at the time came true; she left me.
I`m a recovering alchoholic, six years ago I checked myself into a clinic in Toronto called Bellwood. Before I had the epipheny that allowed me to take that step and remain sober since I walked through those doors I was a player who was disatisfied with that life. I never had to really lie or game women, just show honest interest. A very rudementry form of presense that I had developed through experiences gained as a voulenteer firefighter,big brother, from completing a college degree in Police Foundations as well as earning some credits towards a Masters in Psyhology. I was heavily interested in and active in boxing and weight lifting and physical fitness. Not being planted took me down a long path far different from the one I had set out for myself. I ended up working in the fashon district in Toronto managing a small restarant, I had been a server for several years as well as a doorman(bouncer) and used my experiences up to that point to my advantage with women, although not in a dishonest way or through false pretenses. One of the upsides if you will to the sexualy liberal West that you mention in your video about promiscuity and women. I had developed presence, but I was never ever planted. I have spent the last six years re building my life, it has been a painful journy which is something I can see you would understand and I am sure some of the men here if not all will understand. I’m not saying that about my specific circumstances but the journey itself. There was a time when I had everything I could have ever wanted and if I didn’t have it it was readily available. I lost all that because I was not planted.
There is truth in everything you say, and I would implore anyone viewing this material to take it to heart. There is saying in AA, probably other addiction councling as well that applies to this material; half measures will avail you nothing. Meaning we have to live it. I`ve exerienced the results of not living it and they are awful at best. Thank you for making this material available for free, it has been hugely positive in my life at a time when I really needed it.
Thank you! Just what I needed right now.
So here is hoping my relationship isn’t too far gone, this bit about the logic myth is just crucial. I am very excited to try this with my girlfriend as long as we don’t end before then, considering things have gotten a bit rocky with the lack of passion and connection on my part which has her fed up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said wow does 1 plus 1 equal 3 today to her? It’s like she jumps around and ties all sorts of things together when we argue that I’m left thinking how are you logical at all? I hope to be able to apply the positive intent, nonjudgmental place of the heart, and 100% attention all together sooner rather than later. Thanks!
David, this information you are revealing is truly a blessing!!! Thank you for the videos you are sharing, they are very revealing of the pitfalls that men (in general), fall into. Can’t wait for the next one!!!!
I believe that being “Present” with your woman can do a lot of things for your relationship. The biggest benefit from that kind of action in reaction to what most men see as aggression but (more accurate) she sees as assertive expression. Would show her that you are just as concerned for her concerns as she is. Like a “I am listening” kind of reassurance? After all in those moments it is best to put aside prideful thoughts or selfish motives and deeply consider swallowing some of those if only for a moment. But I am not to sure if that is the appropriate stance either.
I wrote this comment Mr.Tian. Not anonymous. Side Note: Thank You for sharing your experience and wisdom. Thank You for giving positive and strengthening council to so many of us who are without such outlets. It is greatly appreciated.
“How would practicing Presence with your woman on a consistent basis change your relationship?”
Well I’m a single male 52 years old so I am only seeing this one way. I was married for 20 years and have 3 daughters all two years apart. Today my oldest is 33, the youngest 29, of those three, and i was blessed with another by a fiancé who just turned 15. (no the fiance wasn’t 15, she was 46, my daughter is 15, LOl) I have 3 adult daughters and one classy young lady 15 years old.
If I had practiced Presence while I was committed to my babies mom’s, I believe that I would only have 3 daughters because the marriage wouldn’t have dissolved. I was never taught the truth about how important it is to put her needs before my own, regardless of what my plan or turmoil may be, she would have endured anything just to stand with me as i was her. It’s not how I improperly disassembled us though. I placed what I considered most valuable above her minds most valuable need. I believed that by working as much as possible to provide all the luxuries and amenities that 4 women could possibly want was the mark…and i as wrong as the day was long. Had I practiced presence with her back then she would have lived in a cardboard box with me. Since lessons are repeated until learned, this final relationship, partnership, or just simply friendship, will have such a greater payoff than I’ve ever received.
Thank you Dr Tian! This is totally gaining a momentum of hope and excitement in my soul as I visualize my next 52 years!
Thanks David, I wished I knew what your teaching, 20 or 30 years ago. I was a player, pickup artist how you call it. I was 2x married, no kids. I am a bit like you after your suicide attempt, picked my last ex out of a dozen I was dating, I was not planted or grounded and she neither, I thought that I’m on top of the game, getting compliments from women left and right…I fell in the trap of costing after marriage, was doing all the possible mistakes your mentioning, using logic to fix, solve things.. your really opening my eyes..to be present, and connect…I remember my dad saying that women don’t know how to think logically.l disregarded it .. saying to myself old way of thinking…I’m not considering myself of being to old, even I’m 66, I’m open to look at things and learn new ways, I’m single again.
Hi, David! How are you? I am so happy that you didn’t jump from that building. I’ve never felt that reaction to a relationship. Life is worth living to the last second.
You mention Indonesia. I find it ironic that my woman is Chinese – Indonesian, and is still in Jakarta. I love her, dearly, and want to marry her, yet we’ve never kissed or had sex. We just sort of “snuck up on each other”. We are great friends. She is definitely beautiful. The attraction is all of the shared interests and our love of children, plants, animals, and art, to name a few. I have to complete cancer treatments before I can go back to Jakarta to get her and her two boys. She is 50, and I’m 62. I appreciate sincerity and conciseness. Maybe my “problem” is that I’m a writer and former journalist. I hope I’m not coming off as a jerk.
Sincerely, Ron R.
David, as always, delivering gold to humanity via truth! Definitely Rock Solid info! Looking very much forward to meeting you – this work is not only vitally timely; but, is timeless when placed into action. It is transferable as I literally FEEL the impact it not only is having at present, but what IT WILL continue to bring forward through many generations! Hello and glad tidings to all from Phoenix, USA
Awesome, thanks, Joe!
Superb insightful video as always David, many thanks.