Can You Attract Women Just Using Your Mind?

Welcome to the second video in our new series! This video reveals the best solution to the “Do More Trap,” which I think will really shake up your preconceived notions... of how easy it can be... to attract women by merely tweaking your psychology in just the right way.

It’s the key to becoming naturally attractive to women. It will seem effortless to you because it will be natural for you.

It all comes down to something I call “The Dao State.”

This is the only way I’ve found that you can “think” your way into getting a woman attracted to you. And it uses a combination of ancient Asian philosophy and the modern science of “Flow.”

Have you ever had a moment of feeling extremely confident... even just for a little bit...

And noticed that women were suddenly giving you greater attention than you’d ever had before?

Attractive women who normally wouldn’t even give you the time of day are suddenly flirting…

And everyone is having more fun just from being around you…

Everything you say just “works,” and people are having a blast.

In that moment, you were in the “Dao State.” This is your most natural, relaxed, and powerful state of being, where everything flows easily for you, and you become your most charismatic, compelling version of you.

And if you haven’t had an experience like I just described, then watch the video above because you are going to be amazed by what you’ll discover about the psychology of attraction.

There are 3 parts to achieving the “Dao State” or in modern scientific terms, “Flow,” which I reveal in this new video.

Enjoy the video, and let me know what you think of it!

Witnessing the joy, happiness, and transformation in the lives of the hundreds of thousands of men and women around the world that my team and I have had the pleasure and privilege to coach… makes it all worth it.

Over 15 years ago, I was just beginning to recover from my divorce when I discovered that dating and attraction… was something you could get better at!

You could actually learn, improve, and master dating skills, psychology, and mindsets… that make all the difference in the world when it comes to attracting your ideal woman.

I can still recall the tremendous hope and optimism surged through me once I realized this truth… and lifted the fog of my depression. There is a way forward. And I just had to apply myself to learning it.

I now pass on the wisdom I’ve discovered as a student and now 12+ years as a professional coach… about the natural way to become your ideal woman’s ideal man… just by using your mind in the right way.

Enjoy this one, and check your inbox in a couple days for the third video in our new series.


What To Do Now: Leave us a comment answering the question: "Have you ever experienced something like the "Dao State" before in your life? What was it like?"


  • Nick

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I’m so happy you came back with more content. I watched both videos and looking forward to the third one.

    • Ronald H Bessette

      Reply Reply April 19, 2020

      Awesome video I have been in The flow before took me a lot to get there with my wife and now lost the flow actually I am kinda scared to get it back but u are diffinently helping me get back my flow love watching your awesome videos

      • Steven

        Reply Reply May 27, 2020

        Hi David, I love your enthusiasm when you talk. I’ve always referred to the “Flow” as being in the “Zone”. I’m going through a particular difficult time now as my 30 year marriage is breaking up. Talk about not having dated in a long time and being rusty. But I have years of experience and wisdom on my side.

  • Jero

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    You’re right, you can never fill the void of the soulmate, i used to think that more money is more happiness. realized that it’s not true a bit too late. I’m glad i found this.

  • Dave

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I think every man will fall into the Do More trap at some point in their life. It’s just that some are able to see it and make changes in time. Hopefully through these video series i will finally figure it out!

    • Aaron Lee Roberson

      Reply Reply April 10, 2020

      Hi this is Aaron Roberson how can I get beautiful and gorgeous hottest girls show me how and I never had sex with a girl I want it to be realistic face show me how I experienced sex with GIRLS that I never had in my life text me back ok dave thank you Aaron Roberson

  • Zen

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Being more attractive by not doing more is really something i haven’t though of. But i feel like in order for that to work you will have to fully embrace it and let it become part of you, instead of just pretending(which in my opinion is worse.)

  • Ryan P.

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    wow, i never knew this research was made. That’s incredible. It makes sense too, it reminds me of a college job i used to have with a (now ex) girlfriend of mine. We were WORKING mind you but the time passed like nothing, the laughter the talk. This is amazing that there’s an actual research to prove this. I can’t wait for the next one David.

  • Gerry

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    You’ve made me curious about flow. Going to find that book and read it. Great video!

  • Alexander

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    When are you releasing your program? Will it be expensive? I want to join and want to know if I can afford this.

  • Lil J

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    What really excites me when I think of this is to be able to pick up 7-8 women in the same day! That would be amazing. I did this for 3 women and I was on top of the world. I get a rush whenever I go and try picking up a beautiful woman…

  • Ronnie

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I never actually tried to do more when I see a girl I like. I guess it’s just the way I am. I can be my normal self even when I like a girl and I don’t like to do anything special just to get her attention, but your advice is good.

    • Henry

      Reply Reply February 2, 2019

      Same here, brother. I also feel like I need to do more and that’s not always a good thing. I think we should wait to find that one special girl that deserves us to to more, no?

      • Ronnie

        Reply Reply February 2, 2019

        Yeah you’re probably right. Hopefully we’ll learn something from these videos and the course Dr. Tian is launching soon.

      • Steve B

        Reply Reply August 1, 2019

        Thanks Dave,

        That was great video, ive always been myself and thought it wasn’t good enough and thought maybe i should do more. After watching the first video that gave me a different outlook as well can’t wait for the next video. I would have to say that my experience when it comes to flow or in the zone was when i was a goalie playing hockey.

  • Pavel

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    4 years ago I didn’t get that much action but things changed and I started getting lots of attention and managed to go out with lots of women. I know I still have a lot to learn and your course sounds like the next step for me. Looking forward to it!

  • Yanick

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Both of your videos are the bomb. I get chicks interested in me just because I look more confident than other guys my age and they dig it!

  • Gareth

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I already tried what you said with 2 girls and they both reacted about the same and they want to meet again. I think I’m going to call one in 1-2 days (so she steams a bit) and not going to call the other one at all. I love to test things out!

    • Danny

      Reply Reply February 2, 2019

      Me too! I tested what David said and it seems to be working very well. You just need to feel confident in yourself (fake it until you make it) and do less and act like you don’t care.

    • Dean Cazzola

      Reply Reply December 26, 2020

      Trying to get into flow with my girlfriend of 7 years . We see each other every week to 2 weeks as she had to relocate for work and is 4 hours away. We get slong well but I’m trying to get her back to where she is 100 percent committed to me and I’m with her. Your video explains alot and look forward to more

  • Frodo

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Do less and get more; that’s exactly how I like it ;)! It’s hard to believe this works (doing less, being in a state of flow) so well but I’ve tested what you said and it works wonderfully!

  • Manuel

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    After watching your first video I decided to do less and it seems to be working. I actually got a date with a hot chick. Great work!

  • Alan

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Right now I’m reading the book Flow from that author and it’s a wow read. It answers so many of my questions.

  • Mark

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I think there have been just 3-4 moments in my life when I felt in the flow. One was when I got my driver’s license. I was like I was so certain of my abilities that failure was not an option. I knew I would get my license and I got it.

  • damon

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    It’s so cool to hear someone in the dating scene talking about flow. Your videos are something else and I can’t wait for more of them!

    • Noel

      Reply Reply April 6, 2020

      Your advise resonates with me my fiance just left me she suffers from a borderline personality disorder and the more I gave her and did for her the more she resented me .

  • ranger7

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I am very excited to be able to learn how to attract girls! I’m only 14 and don’t have that much experience with dating girls but I want to learn. I want to be more confident in myself.

  • Erico

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Been searching for a good course on dating women for some time now. This is a problem for me because I start getting really excited once I am in the presence of a good looking woman, and I don’t know what to say or do.

  • Nate

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I recently learned about the dao state and it seems so fascinating. I’m going to research it more and try to find my own. Thanks, David!

  • Oni

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    My divorce has left me without hope so this is good news. It’s nice to know you’ve been there and have managed to pull yourself back up.

  • Perry

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I can’t imagine how it would be like to be able to attract a girl by using your words. That must be fantastic and I’ve seen guys do it but I don’t really know their secrets and hope you can share more of yours :)! I would never use such “secrets” to disrespect girls; I just want to be liked.

  • Chris

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Watching your videos makes me realize a lot of things I did wrong. With my previous girlfriend I did a lot of that. I was doing more and she was less and less attracted to me! Now I know why.

  • midas

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    The Dao State seems like bliss. I wonder how I can actually get there.

  • Stan

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    After watching your previous video, I began to understand the meaning of doing less. It’s about showing her you are a man, a confident person that knows what he wants and one that she would want to be around. I am right?

  • crazy platypus

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I think it feels wonderful to be in state of flow like that, doesn’t it?

  • Daniel

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    From what I’ve seen so far, you really want to do something different. To teach people how to live a better life not just pick up women.

  • Lex

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I’ve honestly learned more from these 2 free videos than from entire programs I had to pay for! I’m definitely joining this program once it’s out.

  • JJ

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Do less, not more then enter the Dao state or is it the other way around? New terms for me and I have to familiarize myself with them.

    • Lionel

      Reply Reply February 2, 2019

      I think it’s the other way around. When you’re in the Dao State you don’t need to do more. Less will do.

  • Tom

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Thank you for talking about the 3 parts to achieving flow. A very, very interesting watch!

  • Chase

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    It’s beautiful how you look at things. You don’t just focus on picking up a woman but also on being a different, better person.

  • Mike

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I think the flow state is what women feel when they are “in love”. I also think it is harder for men to be in that place for prolonged periods of time, especially as we age. I really find this all fascinating. I recently started dating again after a long break-up and your work has been praised so here I am and I have already learned so much.

  • Brian C.

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    My sister-in-law actually introduced your work to me. She is a huge fan of what you do for men as she said it had helped my brother out in their marriage. I wanted to give it a chance and so far I am impressed. I never thought happiness could be this easy. It amazes me how often we overlook the little things that truly make life worth living and connections with others worth having.

  • Shawn Williams

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    When I was younger, I noticed I had a lot more social freedom about me. I was always comfortable with anyone. I was able to be myself and truly be in the moment. As I got older, those voices crept in and they got louder and louder. I now have social anxiety. Would think someone who won prom king would ever have social anxiety. I am ready to take my life back and get back to living in the moment!

  • Nick S.

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Really can’t get enough of your work man! I can’t tell you how much you have helped me. I may not be married or even engaged yet but I feel like I am on the right path to a healthy relationship for the first time in 20 years. My sister even commented on how I have changed and one of her friends, who I have known for over 10 years, is suddenly into me!

  • Jackson

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I did not see that being number one. My mind is blown. When it comes to happiness, I would have never considered some kind of state of mind. I can relate to playing games. When something isn’t a challenge in terms of video games, I don’t like it. I lose interest. Losing time is another thing. If I can lose track of time, it means I am lost in the moment like you said.

  • Michael Parson

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    My work is part to blame for my horrible dating patterns. I am unhappy at work and I just can’t focus enough on a relationship without feeling drained. I feel like if I am able to get out of this rut and be in a better place in my mind and in work in general, things would change a lot for me.

  • Paul

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Another great video David. I really like how down to earth your approach is. You talk to us like men, not little boys. I watched the last video and this one is just as good, if not better. I have heard of the flow thinking theory/research. It has been awhile since I heard anyone mention it though.

  • Dan L.

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I grew up with parents who had me feeling I wasn’t good enough. This stemmed into my dating world. Every time I would start to date a woman, it would start out great… After awhile, I would be trying too hard. I end up pushing them away. You were spot on with the last video and this one helped me immensely!

  • Henry

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I wish I could just meet the perfect woman tomorrow. Know that she is the one and I can just marry her and start my life. I am nearly 35. When I was 20, I figured I would be married with kids by now. I guess it is not too late for me. Very happy to have found your work.

  • Matt Wright

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    I was one of those guys who said I didn’t need women. I was actually part of that MGTOW movement. I was part of that for 5 years. It didn’t cause me to hate women more, it caused me to hate myself more. Glad you brought that up. Never get stuck in this mindset. Looking forward to the next one David!

  • Al

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    I want to at least try to avoid the do more trap. It won’t be easy for me to do this but I’ll try.

  • Sam

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    I can’t really get into that Dao State at the moment. It seems too difficult. I don’t know what to do.

    • Rick

      Reply Reply February 4, 2019

      You need to be patient. You’ll get there if you don’t give up.

  • D7

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    It’s hard to believe that I can become a better man by sitting in my chair. Are you sure there aren’t things I should be doing?

  • Roberto

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    Personally, I hate to have to work more to make a girl like me. If she likes me, that’s great, if not, well there’s not much I can (or want to) do.

  • Gerard

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    For years I kept memorizing tons of stuff to be able to say the right thing at the right time. It’s tiresome.

    • Thomas

      Reply Reply February 4, 2019

      And did it work at least? Or was it all in vain?

      • Gerard

        Reply Reply February 4, 2019

        It worked in 60% of the cases but it’s very hard to keep up this charade. At some point you start feeling burned out.

  • Zack

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    Haha, I had to memorize jokes on all sorts of subjects and was called a funny guy by many girls. It was so hard to memorize everything – it’s worse than in school :(.

  • Vito

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    That’s exactly what I need: a step by step system that works. I just have to work the system and get good results. I’m tired of running around aimlessly and not getting anywhere.

  • Max

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    That term paper analogy was spot on. It’s hard to be in that position of not knowing if you did good or failed.

    • Donnie

      Reply Reply February 4, 2019

      Yeah, it super hard to be there. It’s like trying to walk in complete darkness. You never know if you’re walking in circles, going the right way or if you’re going to hit your foot.

  • MustangJack

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    You’re so right, David!!! So many of us lack the self confidence is our own abilities and need women to tell us we’re great guys! And when that doesn’t happen we just feel miserable.

    • Cesar

      Reply Reply February 4, 2019

      I stopped doing this a long, long time ago. Now I love and respect myself. I like who I am becoming and I try to be better with each passing day. I don’t need anyone else to tell me this. I know it.

      • Diego

        Reply Reply February 4, 2019

        Me too. I used to rely on someone’s else opinions about myself and realized that was pointless and dangerous. I now try to read and watch videos that help me become a better man and I’m happy with myself and my progress. I’m often in a flow state.

        • Aurelio

          Reply Reply February 4, 2019

          How do you enter the flow state, man? Do you something or does it come naturally for you?

          • Diego

            February 4, 2019

            It’s hard to explain. I guess that the more you invest in yourself and never stop learning, the more you’ll get into the flow. The more you learn about yourself the easier it will get to enter the Dao state.

  • Aurelio

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    So I should start learning, no? What would you suggest I read or watch?

  • Diego

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    Start with this program from David. Read books about being a better man. Look for videos that speak about this. Watch a few minutes and if it feels right then continue. If it doesn’t just stop and look for something else.

  • Magnus

    Reply Reply February 4, 2019

    Many things are outside of my control and I just don’t want to waste time on this. I know others have opinions about me but I also know I can choose whether or not to let those opinions in or not.

  • Jimmy

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    I want to get there: where I don’t really care if she likes me or not. Either way, I fine with it.

  • Albert

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    After watching your videos (all in a row) I realized I need to take a moment and see what my true values are. It was a revealing experience! Thank you.

  • Jason

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    I’m actually addicted to the feedback. It’s so strange now that I think about it; I can’t function if I don’t get the feedback. Good or bad, I have to have it.

    • Brad

      Reply Reply February 5, 2019

      When I was younger I was like that. Thank God I met this wonderful woman that trusted me and liked me for who I us and she just took away all my insecurities. I wish you the same.

  • Crazyelephant

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    My elephant is really crazy :))! It’s very hard for me to even consider taming him.

    • Dash

      Reply Reply February 5, 2019

      You need to or else you’ll be in its control your entire life. Like David said, work on it when the elephant is calm and obedient.

  • Fred

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    I’ve recently started reading about the unconscious and how it can be changed so this is a nice continuation of that.

  • Mito

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    Can’t wait for you to launch this!

  • Ted

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    I’ve never tried to visualize my outcomes. I had no idea this was possible. I’m excited to see how it goes.

  • Frankie

    Reply Reply February 5, 2019

    The best 3 videos I’ve seen in the last 2-3 years! Great work, David!

  • Madis

    Reply Reply February 27, 2019

    Too all the anime fans – this will demonstrate exactly what is David talking about 🙂

  • Jordan Brown

    Reply Reply March 9, 2019

    I’m so happy I’m discovering this at a young age and not later in life when I question my choices. This is literally what my friends and family keep telling me to go with the flow and feel great about it. What you said David is the exact same thing my Theater professor told me when I’m acting. “Don’t look at me for approval look at yourself for approval.” After I get through the whole series I’m gonna get myself back out there and this time do it right.

  • Mark T

    Reply Reply March 18, 2019

    I accidentally got into the flow state last night at karaoke. I sang two of my best versions of both a go-to and a new song and next thing I knew I was in a deep chat with a cute lady about her tattoos and breast cancer. Time stood still, and we got deep into it until my next turn to sing. It was effortless and I didn’t know why until this video. I had zero outside thoughts, I was so in the moment focused on her it was almost trancelike. I think the Bloody Mary’s helped chill me out, that, and the euphoria from nailing my first two songs.

  • Jonathan B

    Reply Reply April 7, 2019

    Off course i experienced the duo state. When i think about it i remember happy times, if i can go back to that state and flow naturally 24/7 will be heaven on earth.

  • Dustin

    Reply Reply April 22, 2019

    The closest to experiencing the dao state was way back when I practiced karate as a kid, and more presently whenever I make lattes.

  • D Tracy Middleton

    Reply Reply May 22, 2019

    Thank you for the help, I definitely need to do something different. I am going to ck on the DAO state/Flow. I know I have had moments like that, but it’s been a long time ago. In my old life. I had a couple of rough break ups and I just gave up, my marriage of 25 years, and then a couple of years later I got into a relationship that lasted about 8 years and then I just quit. I’m trying to be happy with just being me, if I happen to do something for a female it’s only because I have been asked. I don’t go out of my way, just trying to be kind if asked. Even then I probably say no. This is great information and hopefully I find a way to just be a better person and that’s really what I think it’s about

  • Anonymous

    Reply Reply June 1, 2019

    great video I’m feeling more confident 👍

    • Joshua

      Reply Reply July 17, 2019

      I have always fallen into the do state and always bad for me but never been I the flow state as I always been bad on how to get my perfect woman and never been confident

  • Phil

    Reply Reply June 17, 2019

    Wuwei and flow are very familiar to me. For over 20 years I have taught a form of kung fu in which flowing focused chi was the primary principle. 20 years ago I had an abundance of women. Had to beat them off with a stick as my gm would say. But somewhere along the way I let life take that away from me. Had a lot of rough years. I just recently realized that what I have been searching for I have already once had. Then I happened to open you email and watch this and there it was. Same thing I realized within the last day.

    This time will be different though. I am seeking to bring it back consciously. Back then I did not know what I had. When I list it I didnt know what I had lost.

    I am enjoying your materials


  • araizz

    Reply Reply July 24, 2019

    I love the way you had ..explain it… I feel good during watching this,, I am excited for the third one

  • stacy coen

    Reply Reply July 29, 2019

    The Doa State, I have been in this many times when i was training and competing. I grew up in a martial arts culture. My mother was the first in ohio if not the US to earn a black belt in Japanese Shotokan. I was 6. So as I continued to be absorbed in it and learn, and get older,I decided to try Chinese Kung Fu, Yee Chong Fi Su Dom Fut.
    I quickly moved through the ranks and became a mentu (disciple) of Grand Master Andrew P. Tamper.
    I was invited to judge all the international Kung fu tournaments at the Civic Center but Grand Master Tamper would not allow me to compete. His last year with us he allowed me and before each match, regardless of the discipline, I was as nervous as I can ever imagine, until i stepped into the ring (actually a matt) everything fell away from my mind. I focused on absolutely nothing. As the judges began the match, I allowed my mind and body to do whatever it knew or wanted. I put no effort in considering defense or offense, it simply happened. I won everything I entered and had more energy when it was over than when it started.
    Grand Master Tamper was adamant about i already know everything i need to to win, and if I had to give a moments thought as to what to do, it would already be to late. Let go he’d say, you’re more than you know.
    Is this the same Dao State?
    Thank you David!

    Sincerely, Stacy

  • Steve B

    Reply Reply August 1, 2019

    Thanks Dave,

    That was great video, ive always been myself and thought it wasn’t good enough and thought maybe i should do more. After watching the first video that gave me a different outlook as well can’t wait for the next video. I would have to say that my experience when it comes to flow or in the zone was when i was a goalie playing hockey.

  • Ian Green

    Reply Reply August 27, 2019

    A great place to be in !

  • William

    Reply Reply September 12, 2019

    Good video but I found the background music distracting and resorted to read the subtitles because I couldn’t hear both what you were saying without also increasing the background music.
    Get rid of it, your message is more important to hear not some annoying background music.

  • Richard House

    Reply Reply October 25, 2019

    Great video David! You get people to relate to, and understand what you are saying. I can relate to the Dao State from my younger days as a musician, sound tech, and doing concert production. I loved what I was doing, and there was a great flow.

  • René

    Reply Reply November 28, 2019

    My first experience was at the time where I was reading Solve For Happy. It’s a book about how to turn things into positive or where everything is neither good or bad. There is a chapter where he teaches how to enter the flow. Everything becomes weirdly pleasant and there was no reason to be happy, there were just peace kind of weird but good weird. It was pretty new to me, and I began to have thoughts like “I need to plan for my future, kind of having that I need to do more. While having the flow mindset I was having a conversation with a beautiful women who is a flight attendant. Not while after she texts me, not to tell a long story we fell in love after. Well just to give an example, I couldn’t understand why she was interested in me? “I didn’t do anything” But the thoughts came back where I became so much needy and I was angry at myself at the same time that I couldn’t no longer control my thoughts anymore. The more I do, the worst I get and then to be honest, at the end I was trying to commit suicide I was no longer responsible of myself. I am living in a small country where I can’t really talk to people about the flow because the psychology in Greenland is considered as for weak humans. Of course, she left me and have used SO much research how to attract ex back but then I found you David. What you say and examples couldn’t be more understandable. Tears were shed after giving so much effort. I can only say that, we are so lucky that you had your divorce then you can teach us how to be a man!

  • Jarron

    Reply Reply January 6, 2020

    Thanks David, your videos are a great source of energy

    • Dr. David Tian

      Reply Reply April 28, 2020

      Thanks, Jarron!

  • Jim

    Reply Reply February 24, 2020

    Hey David, I haven’t experienced dao state as the person initiating it. But I have been in amazement at my ex wife who when she is in conversation with myself and most people. She is able to connect with others and time seems to have no place here.
    I’d get lost in listening to her as well as I could see others do too.
    I used to call it a time warp vortex conversation (but the dao state or Flow is so much more positive) that video really resonated with me and I feel good for watching it. Thank you

  • Karthik

    Reply Reply February 24, 2020

    You have gotten me really interested with this video. I am into yoga and meditation. Always curious about the relationship between that and dating, romance and sex. Sometimes I felt that entailed abstinence from women and sex. After watching this, I am convinced that mediation or State of Dao as you call it can be a natural part of our natural day-to-day life including romance and sex. I entered the Dao state when doing college work or office work sometimes. Very rarely, I get so engaged that I end up working without any second negative thoughts like doubt of my ability or time to do the task. Result is perfect work all round. Look forward to learning more from you. David. Hope you are well.

  • Joshua Wurzelbacher

    Reply Reply April 10, 2020

    I love your videos and I understand a lot of the second one as a martial artist in winchun I’ve practiced zen for many years now but my main problem is trying to fill the void between me and my wife right now trying to bring the spark back hopefully you can assist me with this and like many guys out there I don’t know where it went. Or why or how we fell in love in the first place at that point I just got back from overseas and my PTSD was really bad and something about her made me calm more relaxed and never wanting to let her go and after years of being with her she keeps me centered or grounded. Don’t know what changed but I need to find it again

  • gabriel aldana

    Reply Reply April 20, 2020

    It have alot of sens, thanks alot for the time you took doing this vide.

  • paul

    Reply Reply April 28, 2020


    • Phil

      Reply Reply October 6, 2020

      Wow, something i have never considered is the Dao state, its the first time I have seen this term before and in the past a state I have achieved but not for a long time, not since I was last truly happy. Its sad because in recent years have have said when your happy time flies which makes life go to quick and that has been the sad mindset I have been in for way to long. Thank you for this video, I look forward to the next one.

  • JD

    Reply Reply April 29, 2020

    Yes, the flow state is accessible if/when one can stop the internal dialogue.
    “Too many minds,” as the young samurai said in “The Last Samurai, is too much self-talk.
    Just how the Tao can be applied to dating and relationships is an interesting insight into listening and getting out of the way by settling the mind into imperturbable stillness (something that is easier said than done when in the presence of someone whose energy can be overwhelming).

    One suggestion, David, is about the music in this video; it overpowers your voice (at least that is my perception of the presentation). The concept of “Invincible” arouses my interest, however, hopefully background music will not overpower your voice. Thanks for this taste of what’s to come. JD 🙂

    • Dr. David Tian

      Reply Reply April 30, 2020

      That’s right!

      And thanks for the feedback on the music. Will def keep that in mind for next time we are editing!

  • Anonymous

    Reply Reply June 3, 2020

    Hey Dr. David!

    I really appreciate your teaching. It’s actually starting to click in my head now. What I didn’t know is now emerging in my brain now. I still have a couple of problems that I need help with. And that is getting into the state of Flow. You see talking to girls is difficult for me most of the time. I get lost of words and don’t even know what to say anymore after a few convos. What females want hear is what I’m lacking of and I really help on that please. Thanks for your understanding. Looking forward to your reply. Thanks

    Sincerely yours.


  • Jon Shaw

    Reply Reply June 7, 2020

    Great video again
    I get this flo when I play music on my guitar or piano, even when I cant fully play it but more so when I can. I hope you will carry on giving us this knowledge for free and there wont be a huge price tag for the last part.
    Its so refreshing to think I can be myself without trying to do and learn lots of crap thats not me at all and imposible to do which I was watching before and really got me down.
    This philosophy and history of flo is interesting.

  • Rob

    Reply Reply June 11, 2020

    Awesome video.
    I’ve definitely experienced flow. More when I played sport. Things just seemed to happen. It wasn’t always easy at practice but game day when things clicked it felt rather painless even though it was pretty full on and strenuous.

    I’ve found when I’m relaxed and have no expectations on myself talking with people I have great conversations and seem to be just happy to be chatting. I think this is flow as well. It’s relaxing and really enjoyable

  • Stan

    Reply Reply June 24, 2020

    Yes David … I have been there many times, but it is not an easy state to attain if you try too hard when you are doing things. Today there are too many worries. Distraction is something that I suffer from. Trying to set that distraction aside is sometimes difficult.

    I have been able to get int this state while cycling, carving, fixing something, being with someone whose company I enjoy. It’s almost like there is nothing else in the world that comes into your mind. Today, you might call it “being in the zone”.

    You’ve reminded me of the times i’ve Let myself be interrupted or started thinking of something else and missed an opportunity.

  • Michael

    Reply Reply July 16, 2020

    No I have trouble with keeping the flow and the do more trap

  • John Buck

    Reply Reply August 18, 2020

    The idea of the dao state makes a lot of sense lol. I can honestly say I have experienced this myself many times in my life. I do play video games actually lol, and have experienced flow while playing many different games, I have also experienced it while working. I’ve worked in construction for most of my life and there have been quite a few times I can say I was in a state of flow while working, usually when it’s just me working alone and I’ve got a radio on to help tune out the rest of the world and I just get focused on what I’m doing and suddenly it’s like 5 hours later and I’ve managed to get more done by myself than 3 or 4 people would have accomplished together in the same time lol. I have experienced it socially while hanging out with friends and even a few times in a situation where I’ve just met some random stranger and a conversation began lol. Although I cannot say I have ever consciously placed myself in a state of flow, its always been something that just kind of happens.

  • George

    Reply Reply August 25, 2020

    Great advice David,

    I think a great issue of both men and women in the process of wanting to get into a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, is to overcome any fear whatsoever and in particular the fear of rejection or the fear of not being good enough, as well as the effort of trying to impress the other person and thinking of what comes next. For sure the transition from the friendship to something more intimate is not an easy one. In my opinion the intimacy comes when each acknowledges one’s needs and expresses them instead of trying to act something that doesn’t come from within.
    The time one spends with oneself and the anticipation is time well-spent, sometimes we try to force things prematurely as if we are in control and judging; the only thing we can control is our interpretation of our interaction with another human being that carries a potentially quite different mind-set from our own. And yes sometimes it is enough to stay on the friend zone and proceed to another target, the friend-zone has also a lot to offer in our social skills.
    Thank you for your great videos that are thought-provoking and helpful even at the no subscription level.

  • Toni

    Reply Reply September 21, 2020

    Brother your video’s are very good.
    But pleaseeee put the music down in volume. Way too loud.

  • Casey

    Reply Reply September 27, 2020

    I have been in the Dao state before in sports or work but NEVER in my social life. I’m good with people when it comes to “normal” situations like when I’m working with patients or everyday interactions…. but I’m awful and awkward the minute there is an attractive woman involved. Obviously my insecurities take over and ruin things. Like you I’ve been a divorced dad now for 8 years and I’ve had no real connections with women and NO sex life!!! I desperately need to get out of the “do more” state because I’m at the point of giving up completely. I’m looking forward to the third video and hopefully I can afford the rest of the series because I know they can cost a lot of money and being a single dad..I don’t have a lot anyways… lol.


    Reply Reply October 7, 2020

    Thank you David for showing me what is “Dao state”, which I am currently enjoying with my date without even aware of it. Our response is spontaneous and then times fly during the conversation.

  • Michael

    Reply Reply November 24, 2020

    Many times . I have lost my way and I am working on who I am .

  • Lee

    Reply Reply January 5, 2021

    Ive have fallen for this, everytime…..

  • Joe

    Reply Reply January 10, 2021

    I get that when I work as a Jurnyman Bricklayer, I can shut down my mind and like a dance I have a rethem where no movement is wasted. Then when I first come out of my flow it is like music was playing but I don’t remember the song but I know I was happy

  • Andrew Stevenson

    Reply Reply January 17, 2021

    Hi David
    Thankyou for this video I have entered the dao state flow on many occasions I just did it naturally. From watching this video I understand it alot better so you have my thanks and I wait for tbe next video .

  • Troy

    Reply Reply August 1, 2021

    I used to be able to achieve the DOA state and found it very success ful how ever once you get to a certain point you no longer use it and go back into overdoing things
    This is a great series and it will be nice to be able to get back to the flow state and to stay there permanently

    • MotionCity

      Reply Reply November 21, 2021

      Everytime I’m playful I become engaged in it.
      Besides the moments when we are in the zone of a hobby we are really good at, thus all the resources are from with, so I don’t need to mind anymore 😉

  • Enrique

    Reply Reply August 28, 2021

    I completely understand and agree of all what you say, I flow many times in the past with different stages of my life,
    But now I just can have it anymore.
    To much pressure I believe…..

  • W

    Reply Reply September 13, 2021

    Remarkable stuff, thanks!

  • Harry

    Reply Reply November 17, 2021

    ‘I have experienced flow and I strongly agree with what he said. It’s like losing yourself in another person , be it your friend or family member. However I haven’t felt this state with a girl yet since i have a lot of preconceptions about behaving around a girl i Do it out of my insecurity , and need for validation ,trying to prove something , acting certain way etc Lately I’ve been getting into redpill and i realised i was becoming more artificial to the point i lost myself and this guy is my way to the right path i can feel it. your first video on do more trap was a huge positive impact since i have been doing more all this time as the so called Manosphere teaches and it has been so draining. Looking forward to next video. Much love. Keep up the good work

  • C Leonard Fath

    Reply Reply November 22, 2021

    I wish that the background music was more in the background. It was drowning out your voice and was distracting.

  • Thomas

    Reply Reply January 14, 2022

    This reminds me of the Pareto principle: 20% of your effort will produce 80% of your results. I am fortunate to be able to be in the flow state when I focus my mind on just letting go of the outcome. It’s all in the process of being not doing.

  • KC

    Reply Reply January 24, 2022

    I understand your concept of flow and the Dao state but there have been very few times in my life that I have experienced this. The few times I can think of are when I have been doing something I enjoy like sports or working on my classic car to improve it. Time just seemed to stop and I was just so in tune with what I was doing that I would even forget to eat. I don’t understand on how you can get into that state in REAL life. Unfortunately I have lost the “happiness and the passion for life after my divorce 10 years ago. I have entered a “have to” state of life because I don’t have any choice. I “have to” work… my ex wife refuses to work for almost 10 years now so it’s up to me to support our kids. I “have to” take care of my parents… I am a only child and I moved my parents closer to me to take care of them… plus trying to be a parent. It just seems that almost everything in my life is a “have to” just to make it through. I rarely have time or money to do the things that I enjoy doing… the times where I have been in flow. How in Gods name can I find a way to get out of the daily grind of life and find enjoyment and flow in being at work or just living daily life. I feel like most of me is dead inside and I’m just living my life out of obligation and not because I want to live life anymore. Not that I’m looking for it or hoping for it but I feel like I would be fine if things just ended… no more struggle, emptiness, loneliness.

  • Bertus

    Reply Reply June 30, 2022

    It all makes a lot more sense now. Thank you so much.

  • Ron Oppenheim

    Reply Reply October 25, 2022


    Thanks for this content and your amazing insights and inspiration.

    As a composer, musician and so on I have experienced Flow many times on stage, in rehearsals, jamming with friends and so on.

    With a women or dating I can only remember one instance, when I was very young, just had my first girlfriend, but was not happy. I went with my cousin and his girlfriend to the music college where my cousin had his entrance exam. I stayed with his GF and we were chilling on campus and we just flowed like little children at the playground. I felt such a rush, such attraction, and afterwards she told me (we were potheads) that if I was a flower she’d smoke me – and I knew the feelings were mutual – but being a nice guy with morales and all I knew that she was off limits. Kind of regretted that later because I ended up stuck with my first GF for 16 years in a toxic relationship (Nice guy syndrome…) and my cousin treated this GF very brutally and they fell apart within a year.

    I am really looking forward to the next video.

    It all makes sense, but how can one just ‘enter the flow state’ at will? I get it when engaged with a very passionate medium like music where I have full confidence in my abilities and talents. I get it also with sex -> I get into the Flow quite often and have been told I am the ‘best’ lover ever by a mile by both my 2 exes (I left my first GF when I was 35 and only had 1 other GF). Now I understand why that, because I do have the ability, despite insecurities and all, to get to that flow state when I make love (I differentiate because of the amount of feelings and so on…that being said, I do not know if I can enter the Flow state just ‘having sex’ ie without the deep feelings and all, but I digress). Why? I guess because I allow myself to unlock all my passions.

    Now dating, that is a whole other story. Because I only had 2 GF I never went through that process of learning how to deal with, well, attract, flirt with and seduce women. So things happen when women make a move on me, embarrassing right? So because I don’t know the correct and appropriate ways of showing my interest in a manly, direct and confident way on dates, I cannot enter the flow state. I am convinced that some dating ‘knowledge’ in terms of what is acceptable and not and so on may be necessary.

    I believe the answer to the question what is holding men back from entering FLOW while dating is: Self confidence, and like I just wrote, the belief that I don’t know how to get things from a nice topical conversation with some interpersonal droplets to flirting and escalating.

    My coach tells me I don’t need to know anything.

    You will tell me just enter the flow state.

    Can I enter the flow state without a good understanding of how to talk with women in a way that builds towards intimacy?

    Like I can’t just tell her at some point ‘I’m really attracted to you and I really want to get to know you deeper and more intimate’ without seeming a creep, right? And ‘Yo, I like you and want to have sex with you’ will most likely result in a slap, right?

    I guess what I’m saying is, I have some doubts about whether just entering ‘flow’ state would be enough, if I really want to have something with a woman.

    I know, I shouldn’t go into a situation thinking about where it could lead to and desiring the woman like that because I just paralyse myself, but then, that in itself is hard to do…or is it?

  • Ron Oppenheim#

    Reply Reply October 26, 2022

    Hey David,

    I’ve experienced this many times on stage as a conductor and as a guitarist and bassist.

    In real life not really.

    Well, one time when I was hanging out with my cousins GF while he was in an entrance exam. We were like 2 kids at the playground. At the end she told me if I was a flower she’d smoke me 😉 (we were weed smokers). I was just beginning with my first GF and though I wasn’t happy I knew nothing would come of this.

    In the end I ended up in a toxic 16 year relationship and my cousin was brutal with his GF and they broke up within a year.

    I should have went for it lol.

    Thanks for the amazing content – I am a huge fan of your work!

    All the best!

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