How to Demolish Your Deepest Insecurities and Honesty as the Cornerstone of Attraction: Full 21 Convention Talk

This is the full video of my talk at the 21 Convention in Melbourne last year. I had a lot of fun meeting some wonderful people, including the organiser, Anthony Johnson, and the MC, Steve Mayeda, as well as many others. A big “Thank You” to Anthony, Steve, and the team for their gracious invitation!

The original title of the talk was, “Honesty as the Cornerstone of Attraction.” I think that title still best encapsulates the content of the talk, but an attendee wrote in and said that as a result of my talk, he learned how to demolish his deepest insecurities, and I thought that’d be a catchier title.

Here’s the video:

This is the outline I gave out as a hand-out. It should come in handy as you watch the video.


1. Inner

Psychological Archaeology

• Use R&R (Reflection and Reframing) to overcome Limiting Beliefs (LB)

• LB => True or False

• If False, then Reflect, Research, and Condition

• If True, then can you change it? Yes or No?

• If Yes, change it!

• If No, then Reframe, Research, and Condition

2. Outer


Being Attractive = Emotional Strength + Honest

-Cyclical Process of a) becoming strong and b) expressing yourself honestly

-Former accomplished through repeated attempts at the latter

“Being yourself ” requires that you first “know yourself ”

Honesty is necessary for…

a) Coming to terms with all your current weaknesses

b) Discovering and deciding who you really want to be

-You feel inside when something’s off

-Genuine “Game”

Know Thyself => What emotions are you feeling and why?

-Be comfortable and content with your flaws

-Admit to yourself and others

Emotion = Judgement/Thought/Belief/Interpretation + Phenomenology


You can get the mp3 download of the talk by clicking here.

You can also download the video here if you want an offline version of the talk.

And here is the reddit link regarding the talk.

Please share with your friends!

Also, I would love to hear your feedback on the talk, so write it here in the comments or email me: david “at”

Get it done. Get it handled.



About The Author

Dr. David Tian

David Tian, Ph.D., is director of Aura Transformation and world renowned specialist in human behavior, emotional and social intelligence, masculinity, relationships, researcher, author, and global educator. He has developed a series of solutions applicable across diverse cultures, contexts, societies, and age groups. His coaching curriculum ranges from relationships, social skills, masculinity, self-development, self-esteem, happiness, and fulfillment.