What's The #1 Biggest Mistake Men Make With Women?

For over 13 years, I’ve coached thousands of men from over 87 countries to success, happiness, and fulfillment in dating, relationships, and lifestyle.

And whenever I speak and lecture around the world, a lot of guys come up to me and confess that…

They have fear and anxiety and feel like they’re “not good enough” around attractive women.

So, they think that they need “more.”

More stuff to say.

More techniques.

More lines.

But this is a trap.

The truth is that you actually need to do less.

OK, let’s use an example.

When Robert Downey Jr. walks into a room, he doesn’t have to do much. You’ve already watched and loved his performances in Iron Man, the Avengers, Chaplin, etc.

So he’s already created a ton of “social value.”

That’s an extreme example, but it demonstrates the point:

Women respond better to guys who do LESS. In fact, if Downey Jr. tried to use too much “game” on a woman, she’d think there was something wrong with him! She’d think…

“Why is he putting so much effort in? Why is he trying so hard?”

It’d make her think that he was insecure… needy… and it’d KILL her attraction for him.

So look - I know you’re not Iron Man.

Neither am I. But I DID figure out how to use this secret to explode my clients’ success with women.

I call this, “The Do More Trap.”

It’s like quicksand. The more you do, the more you sink.

This principle explains why a king sits on the throne while everyone else comes to him and stands or kneels.

It's why women chase after rock stars, and how the band members can get someone else to pick out the prettiest ones and bring them to their rooms.

It’s why the male lion takes a nap all day and the females go out to hunt and bring him food and come to him to mate.

It’s why Leonardo DiCaprio came off more badass than Orlando Bloom.

Remember this one? DiCaprio just waved away little Justin Bieber, while Bloom went out of his way to fight him.

(If you don’t know what I’m talking about, google it; it’s one of those rare gossip stories that’s worth a read.)

The weak man flails his arms about wildly and rushes from place to place and accomplishes little.

The strong man waves a hand and his will is done.

Women like emotionally strong men.

Actually, women LOVE emotionally strong men. But without a solid understanding of this psychology, most men just end up undermining their attractiveness by trying to do MORE.

Why You Are Probably Turning Women Off

When I was trying to get better with women, I didn’t understand what it meant to be my "True Self," and I sure as heck didn’t understand the “Do More Trap.”

I thought I had to be funnier, tell more stories, get better routines or lines, etc., and I was guilty of running my damn mouth a million miles a minute whenever I was around a pretty girl.


Because really attractive women intimidated me. And deep down (even though I would never have admitted it back then), I felt like I didn’t really deserve them.

(Maybe you’ve felt the same)

So to make up for my insecurities and lack of confidence in my own self-worth… I’d talk a lot to try to impress her, or to justify my presence there… to do the “work,” so that she would like me.

So let me take you into the mind of an attractive woman. If you’re talking too much, she’s thinking, “He’s nervous. He’s insecure. He doesn’t think he’s good enough.”

(BTW, this is different from a man who talks a lot because he likes to, or because he’s in charge, confident, or having a fun time.)

In my new training program I’m about to release, one of the key topics I’ll be covering is the difference between the two.

For now, just understand that the “Do More Trap" afflicts almost all men, especially achievers…

Because they do more to try to cover up their (often unconscious) insecurities around really attractive women… and they don’t know any better.

But today, all that’s going to change… for you.

I’ve made a new video series for you explaining all of this. Just watch the first video in the series here on this page to get started. Check your inbox in the next couple days for when the next video will be released.

David Tian, Ph.D.

To Do Now: Watch the entire video carefully, and then leave us a comment!


  • John cooper

    Reply Reply January 31, 2019

    Hi David…your teachings in this video are
    So true, thanks for your insight , I greatly appreciate anything you have to say.

  • Adam Miller

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    You are amazing man. I love this series already and we are only one video in. Can’t wait for the next one. I will be checking and checking for it. Thank you so much for all your research and help when it comes to dating. You have already helped me so much.

  • Samantha

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    You are SPOT ON, David! I was engaged in my early 20’s to a guy who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Over time, his cockiness I was attracted to felt like shots fired at me. I started losing interest. We were meant to move into a house together, he was buying it and I told him I don’t know about this anymore. Well, he laid everything on thick. He was buying me thoughtful gifts (ones I actually loved which he never did before, he never got me anything I liked unless I told him specifically what to get). He was doing romantic gestures. He finally changed his look (started dressing better, cut his hair)… But I was already done. His “do more” effort backfired because to me, it looked desperate and weak. I left him. I am not married to another man who acts nothing like this. Anyone watching this series, LISTEN TO DAVID! He knows what he is talking about. Take it from a woman.

  • Chris M.

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I just wanted to say I am looking forward to hearing about the solution to this. I have had problems with doing too much for women my whole life. I think it stems from taking care of my mother at a young age. I have to break the cycle of this and move away from this mindset or I think I will only continue to scare away women.

  • Casey

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    The do more trap sounds a lot like those scenarios you hear about where a friend is desperate to not lose his girlfriend or wife. He lays everything on heavy. The gifts, the words, the romantic gestures but by this time, it is likely a HUGE turn off to the gal. I have a friend who has done this a lot. I am going to share this series with him. I think it can help.

  • Lee P.

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    When I was younger, I spent a lot of time listening to my mum. She would often tell me that girls liked to feel like they are the center of your world. She basically got me in this mindset of borderline obsession, thinking girls loved this kind of attention. I ended up becoming the “needy one” in my circle of friends. I think my mom was coming from a place of anger and heartache since my father was out of the picture when I was only 4 years old. I have only seen him 2 times since then and I am now 32. I am ready to break this habit.

  • Johnathon Beale

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    “Try hard”… LOL! I have heard that a lot. My ex wife told me this a lot our last year of marriage. I never realized how needy I was until I started watching your videos David. This series actually feels like it is meant for me. Since my divorce and being aware of my faults, I am still struggling to meet women and keep lasting relationships. I hope this series finally gets me out of my own head.

  • Seth

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    My sister always told me to be a lion, not a lioness. I think she got it right. I remember hearing about the Bieber thing with Bloom. The first thought when I heard about it was “good for him!” and “I would have beat his face in harder!”. Now that I am older, looking back on that and how I viewed similar situations… You are absolutely right. That comes from a place lacking self confidence.

  • Mike Rhodes

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I like that you use comparisons that a person can relate to when explaining something. I have watched a lot of videos about men meeting women, keeping women, etc. but no one has ever done this. I enjoyed the first video a lot. My only complaint is that the music is a bit too loud. I would rather have more focus on your voice. Looking forward to the next one David, thank you.

  • Nick

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    The upstream thing makes sense. When you are trying to do more and more for other people, you end up getting taken advantage of. I have been with women who loved this at first but over time, they would just lose interest with me. For the longest time I thought I was the problem when it really came down to me doing too much.

  • Jason M.

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I have watched a lot of your videos and I am very excited for this new series. I have spent YEARS trying to please women and I forced it. I actually ended up depleting myself. Such an eyeopener when you realize that this is a problem and not a solution to a problem. I actually feel more free already. Can’t wait for the next video!

  • Jake

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    You have a certain of talking, more elevated than others from this industry and this is a very big plus for me. Thank you for trying to improve the dating niche and for showing us there’s a better way!

  • Jonathan

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Who wouldn’t love to have to work less and attract more women (or at least some once in a while)? I sure would! Your first video is great and I can’t wait to see more, much more. I would love to learn how to be cool around beautiful women that usually make me feel weird, ugly, etc.

  • Donnie

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I’ve seen others in this niche ask for money to share the tips you’ve just given away for free! I’m very impressed and can’t wait for more!

  • Cesar

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Is it just me or does is seem strange to see a PhD. create a course on picking up women?

  • Jamel

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I’m 20 years old and I still don’t know how to properly ask someone out on a date. I’m not great looking but also not ugly and I just feel I need some good tips to try.

  • rts

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    How much will the program be, David?

  • John

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    My last girlfriend dumped me for another guy and I’ve been in the dumps ever since. I can’t seem to get back on my feet (dating wise) no matter what I try.

  • Victor

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I would do the opposite – no wonder I wasn’t able to keep a date. I would do more and more and more. All the time, I would do more because that’s what seems logical to me. I have so much to learn.

  • Don

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Does your program teach us how to get 2-3 girls to fight for us? Would love to learn to do this.

  • Carmine

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    It’s so interesting to learn about this approach. It’s quite different than anything else I’ve heard about so I’m very interested in hearing more – while I do less :))

  • Brandon

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I always tried very hard to collect phone numbers from girls I like but it never worked out very well for me. Now I know why.

  • Dave

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I can usually get a date from 8-10 tries so nothing special and I would like to improve on this number. Hopefully your course will help me.

  • Phil

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Are you serious? This actually works? I will have to try it out on some girls from school and see how it goes.

  • Olivier

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Your approach seems genuine and interesting and if your course is like this then it’s worth the money. I tried some other dating type course and they were so and so and I’m now ready for a real good one.

  • Christine

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Is this program or course going to be just for men? Can women also learn something from it?

  • Clyde

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Having problems understanding what less means in this case. What should be done and what should be avoided when trying to pick up a girl you like?

  • JD

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I would like to be with 3 women at the same time. It might sound selfish and weird but that’s what excites me at the moment.

  • Quinton

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Been out of the game for 7 years (been married) and can’t seem to remember how to do this right so anything helps at this point.

    • Mugshot

      Reply Reply June 7, 2021

      I have always done what you teach subconciously and attracted girls. I have tried to push them away so they could leave me but they are stuck to me like glue.
      My current girlfriend is being chased by guys who have more money than l have but she rejects them and am the chosen one. What you teach is bang spot on.

  • Stephen

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Can I get girls to like me even if I am not that good looking? Not ugly, just average.

  • CB

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    What if the girl actually likes it when you show her you like her, when you do more? What do you do then? Should you do less?

  • Ron

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I would love to know the actual science behind these affirmations. Why does a girl get more attracted to you when you do less instead of the other way around?

  • Richard

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    You have a certain way to look at things. I feel very connected to this way of thinking and I await your next free videos to learn more.

  • Kyle

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Many dating gurus out there are so full of BS but you seem to be a regular Joe like us. You seem to let science do the talking. Your video was very entertaining and filled with golden nuggets.

  • BlueSky

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I got dumped hard after a 10 year relationship and I’m really down right now. I don’t know what to do because we’ve been together for so long and now it’s just over.

  • Nate

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Already tested a few dating courses and nothing worked like I would have liked. I am willing to spend more money on this but I want results. Can you offer any guarantees that I will be able to attract women faster and easier after your course?

  • Patrick

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    After watching your video, it all makes perfect sense! I’ve seen this exact thing done by guys thousands of time (when they do less instead of more) and they end up getting the girl and I always wondered how they did it. Sometimes, they just ignore a girl and she seems to like them even more because of that.

  • Neil

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    Your course sounds like the right thing for me right now. I’m between girlfriends and I want to up my game to be able to get more dates. I’m still young and want to experience new things until I settle down.

  • Leonard

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    It’s very hard to believe you can go from no girls to many girls flocking around you by just learning when to do less and of course, learning how to speak around girls.

  • Ryan

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I’m very excited about the things I learned from your video and I want to try to do less but don’t really know how to approach a woman first. How do I do it? What do I say? What shouldn’t I do?

  • Peter

    Reply Reply February 1, 2019

    I would love to know what to say to a woman to get her attention and maybe her phone number. Could you share something like this?

  • Jay

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    Awesome David, I’ve been getting your courses since 2016, i’m really excited for the new series.

  • Dave

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    That Paul story reminds me how i used to be before finding these series last year. Memorizing lines, reading everything what to do and what to do on first dates etc. Nothing worked until i had found these courses.

  • Nicholas

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    “Best way to manipulate the river is to surrender in its stream.” I’m really happy you’re back! Looking forward to see more content 🙂

  • Jerome

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    lol, it’s so true what you said about the rockstars. I recently saw bohemian rapsody with is a movie about Queen. It’s insane how much girls they got and little to no effort went in.

  • Joe

    Reply Reply February 2, 2019

    It’s crazy how the wild life shows the lessons for evey thing. Like your example with Lions, same thing goes for other pride leaders like Elephants, chimps etc

  • Ashwin

    Reply Reply May 28, 2020

    It is Nice!!!

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